Turning Pain into Relief

There are times in life when circumstances or the way we deal with these situations can cause us great emotional and even physical pain. Sometimes it’s our lack of energy that can make often simple distractions into significant challenges.

How can we turn this pain into relief?

The first thing we need to do, as soon as this becomes possible, is to remove ourselves from the stresses of the environment to somewhere quiet and sedate.

What if I have a house full of kids/noisy environment and nowhere to go?

People will always make excuses if they don’t want to change. We all have somewhere quieter to go; there are public libraries in our towns and cities, parks and other places within walking distance that we can escape from these external stressors. Heck, I’ve even worked with people in my car, including taking them into trance!

So once we’ve escaped the external stressors we need to work on the things that are affecting us internally.

How can I do this on my own?

Get a pen and paper and write down the things that are causing you pain or discomfort, write them ALL down and write how they make you feel.

There is something magical that happens when thoughts are transferred onto paper, they look and seem slightly different, we find another perspective on them. You may also be crossing one or two of after realising that maybe they are not things that bother you now you have acknowledged them.

So what do I do next?

Firstly allow yourself to become comfortable, allow yourself to relax your major muscle groups and take a few diaphragmatic breaths. When you breathe in, imagine you are breathing in relaxation and when you breathe out, imagine stress and tension leaving your body.

Look at each of your perceived problems and ask yourself these questions:

1) Am I blaming anyone for these issues? (If you are you are giving away your power to change them)

2) Am I able to take responsibility for how I may have been partly responsible for creating these issues? (Taking responsibility allows you to take back your personal power)

3) What are the lessons I must learn from these situations (This allow you to grow and update your knowledge to avoid making any similar mistakes)

4) How can I look at these situations differently now, in order to help me feel more positive about myself and my life? (Allow the learning to settle into your very core)

5) What can I do differently now, in order to move forward towards the things I WANT in my life? (Give yourself a map, a direction for future comfort)

6) What will I plan to do over the coming days and weeks in order to not only make me (and those important to me) feel better but to allow myself to move towards the things I want to achieve in my life.

Invest in yourself…

Kind regards,

Nick

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Let it snow, let it snow...

It's funny how people can interpret an event or occurrence completely differently, let us take the recent snowfall for example.

We have all experienced the blanketing of our neighbourhoods in the white stuff of late, changing the familiar look and feel of our local area.

I talked to a couple of people yesterday about the snowfall.

One a Mother who recounted how she and her daughter had snuggled up to listen to the radio together, she smiled as she told me of her daughters eyes filled with the excitement of possibly having an extra day off School. The other a businessman who told me of his worries about the problems at work, due to delivery problems and staffing shortages. Two completely different experiences.

I personally I find it very refreshing to look at the brightness of my environment, inhale the freshness of the air and hear and feel the crunch of the snow beneath my feet. Sure, it has impacted on a couple of clients being unable to make their appointments, but I always find snow has an innocence about it, a freshness that allows me to think clearly and positively.

Our behaviour, or the way we react to certain situations is based on our “State”.

Our state is governed by the things that are going on in us internally; the pictures and sounds we make in our minds (including internal dialogue) and our physiology (posture, muscle tension, breathing, etc.).

These processes are driven by the way we have reacted to situations in the past and after we have reacted in a certain number of times (research shows around 21 times) these become unconscious behaviours.

However we can control these “reactions” consciously, try this. You may want to read through this process a couple of times to familiarise yourself with it.

Find somewhere to sit and make yourself comfortable, take a few nice easy breaths and allow yourself to relax.

Imagine a happy time when it snowed before, make the picture in your mind big and bright. Remember the sounds associated with this memory, maybe the sounds of children laughing, the crunch of the snow beneath your feet. Now remember how you felt, that coolness of the crisp air against your cheeks, the heat underneath the many layers that cover your body and maybe the freshness of the chilled air.

Now take a moment to notice how you feel, what are the sensations like? Where do you notice them and do they change or move?