Some people have life scripts (a lot of the time they are unaware of) which they play over and over in their lives causing them pain or discomfort. You may have noticed a friend or colleague saying something like "I've met someone new, this time it'll be different!" and find yourself thinking "Where have I heard this before!" and before too long when things go awry, they'll say "Why does it always happen to me?"
When we are growing up we formulate understandings of patterns of behaviour in order to help us cope and survive in our world that we live in. Sometimes these understandings are influenced, both positively and negatively, by parents, teachers, or other people in a position of perceived authority.
The more significant and emotional the event, the more likely this event is to impact on our adult life if we continue to follow the pattern. In the example I used earlier, the person may have felt proud about achieving something as a child and after seeing one of her friends be shown positive attention, gone to seek recognition from a significant adult. However on this occasion the adult scalded them for bothering them which was not the result the child expected, thus leaving them feeling rejected and confused.
If the child experiences this outcome on other significant emotional occasions it may make an incorrect assumption that nobody loves them or no matter what they do they'll never be good enough, thus forming their negative life script.
Once a life script or pattern of behaviour is formed, the persons unconscious mind will look to replay this pattern each time incorrectly thinking that this is the outcome the person wants. This is why some people manage (unconsciously) to find those people or situation
Fortunately the unconscious mind can be encouraged to change and re-educate itself with new information and learning with the help of some forms of therapy.
In my experience Hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming are the fastest and most effective treatment in situations such as these.
Kindest regards,
Nick
I am interested if anyone has any questions or comments on these blogs, so please feel free to leave any comments and let me know your thoughts.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Is There Drama in Your Life?
Do you find yourself in some situations where you almost feel intimidated and bullied by people? Maybe you feel some people are too easily intimidated? Or perhaps you find yourself relentlessly helping people who make bad choices?
Known as the "Drama Triangle", there are three roles that play into personal powerlessness in a type of Psychological "Game".
The “Persecutor” is someone that usually takes an authoritarian stance and has a very critical attitude.
The “Victim” is someone very passive, who seems to just have the worst luck in the world.
The “Rescuer” is someone very nurturing and helpful.
So how do these characters interact in this “Drama Triangle”?
The Persecutor usually blames or criticizes the Victim and takes on the authoritarian stance of a critical parent. The Victim feels oppressed, powerless and helpless but instead of choosing to resolve or remove themselves from the situation, they seek to find a Rescuer in order to perpetuate this position. The Rescuer, normally a person who feels guilty if they do not help others, takes on a nurturing parent role and allows the Victim to enjoy the attention from them, causing a "Secondary Gain".
The Rescuer, now failing in their attempts to help the victim now feels dejected themselves and takes on the role of the Victim, the Victim now criticizing or blaming the (previously) Rescuer now takes on the role of Persecutor.
An important way to move away from this position is to uncover those negative beliefs we may have about ourselves and seek to resolve them. These are usually beliefs we have created about ourselves during childhood or after experiencing a “Significant Emotional Event”.
Analytical Hypnotherapy and Parts Therapy are very effective in dealing with these negative beliefs and can also be used content free, i.e. where the person does not have to discuss the event/s.
Kindest regards,
Nick
Known as the "Drama Triangle", there are three roles that play into personal powerlessness in a type of Psychological "Game".
The “Persecutor” is someone that usually takes an authoritarian stance and has a very critical attitude.
The “Victim” is someone very passive, who seems to just have the worst luck in the world.
The “Rescuer” is someone very nurturing and helpful.
So how do these characters interact in this “Drama Triangle”?
The Persecutor usually blames or criticizes the Victim and takes on the authoritarian stance of a critical parent. The Victim feels oppressed, powerless and helpless but instead of choosing to resolve or remove themselves from the situation, they seek to find a Rescuer in order to perpetuate this position. The Rescuer, normally a person who feels guilty if they do not help others, takes on a nurturing parent role and allows the Victim to enjoy the attention from them, causing a "Secondary Gain".
The Rescuer, now failing in their attempts to help the victim now feels dejected themselves and takes on the role of the Victim, the Victim now criticizing or blaming the (previously) Rescuer now takes on the role of Persecutor.
An important way to move away from this position is to uncover those negative beliefs we may have about ourselves and seek to resolve them. These are usually beliefs we have created about ourselves during childhood or after experiencing a “Significant Emotional Event”.
Analytical Hypnotherapy and Parts Therapy are very effective in dealing with these negative beliefs and can also be used content free, i.e. where the person does not have to discuss the event/s.
Kindest regards,
Nick
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