I jokingly posted a status update on my Facebook account wishing to be given Cheryl Cole this Christmas, which reminded me of something a lady said to me at a party some years ago.
I was in my 20’s and I thought I’d draw on this ladies experience (she was in her 40’s) and was known for her wisdom (she could read palms too!), so I asked her what she thought my chances were with a beautiful girl I had been engaging with earlier.
She said “Be careful what you wish for!” with a wry smile.
It stopped me dead in my tracks.
What did she mean “Be careful…”? How could anything bad come out of wanting to be with someone I was attracted to.
Then she went on to explain that we makes “wishes” a lot in our lives, sometimes when we feel good, sometimes when we feel sad or depressed and sometimes these wishes are just a response to a situation.
How many times when be told off as a child by a parent or teacher and thought “I hate you!” and not mean it and felt bad afterwards.
Luckily, our unconscious mind generally ignores single requests like this and responds when we have consistently and emotionally requested something. This is why habits are difficult to change without Hypnosis or Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Also this lady went on to explain that when we wish for something not to happen, we also create an attraction to it. For example if I say to you “Don’t think of a blue bus now!”, you have to think of it, then un-think it.
I remember this happening to me when I trained most days with weights or boxing because of a fear of violence I had, but because I was making pictures in my mind of what I didn’t what to happen I seemed to attract these situations.
Now I create pictures of the things I want and create matching positive affirmative internal dialogue. If I catch myself thinking negatively I change it as quickly as I can, this takes practice and I’m still working on it, but the dividends it pays make it worth while.
So this Christmas I urge you “Be careful what you wish for!”, think positively and have the most fantastic Christmas ever!
Oh yes, my wish did come true.
Merry Christmas!
Nick
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Prison Inmates
Locked up in a prison in North Vietnam for 7 long and arduous years American Major, James Nesmeth decided to use his time differently. Rather than focus on the harsh conditions of his incarceration and allow his bleak and harrowing existence to engulf his thoughts, he decided to take control of his mind.
Every single day for four hours, he closed his eyes and imagined in vivid detail that he was at his country golf club. He included every detail; visually (sight) – from the interior colours and design of the club house, to the different shades of green of the grass on the fairway. Auditarily (sound) – the swishing sound of each club being drawn from the bag, to the gentle rustling of the wind I the trees. Kinaesthetically (feeling) – the feel of the grip of his favourite driver to the feeling of his feet inside his golfing shoes. Olfactarily (smell) – the smell of the freshly cut grass to the scent of the leather of his golfing bag. Gustatorarily (taste) – he even imagined the taste change in his saliva with the anticipation of his sporting enjoyment.
He imagined this experience in every detail as if it were real, the drive to the clubhouse, the banter with his sporting colleagues, the walk to the first tee and the practise swings before taking each shot. Over 7 years he invested approximately 10220 hours of mental rehearsall, never leaving any detail out.
When he was released from prison, he had a real desire to return to his golf club and play “another” round of golf. In his first “real” game of golf for 7 years he scored an amazing 74!
Apart from proving that mental rehearsal is as effective (if not more) and assists physical practise, it also demonstrates what happens when we control our own minds rather than letting it control us.
The interesting thing for me is that a lot of clients I see are trapped in their own “prisons”, surrounded by concrete walls and bars of negativity, self doubt and low self esteem. There is nothing physical stopping them from making changes, just that critical parental voice telling them the downsides and pitfalls of any lofty ideas they may have to improve their lives.
Whenever we move forward and break out of that old comfort zone our internal parent seeks to protect us by warning us of what can go wrong and making it easier for us to slip back into the quilt-like warmth of our old behaviours. It’s essentially installed as a safety mechanism, but because of the government and media we live in fear and this safety switch is triggered far too soon.
It’s not a weakness to ask for help in developing yourself, even though those we have voted into power have stigmatized this kind of assistance and made people feel broken or abnormal, which is simply not true.
On my journey I didn’t have anyone like myself to help me, so I invested (and still do) massive amounts of time in learning about the mind; reading books, listening to audio CDs and watching DVDs on Psychology, Hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, anything to do with how our brains work.
I feel very lucky that I have put myself in a position to help those people who have the courage to look for help. I know exactly what it’s like, having escaped my own metaphoric “prisons” many times and I’m sure there will be many more to come as I keep pushing forward and developing myself.
One essential ingredient that is inherent in every successful person I’ve ever met is tenacity, a complete 100% resolution to one successful outcome, no back door, no plan B.
And remember, if you feel you can’t do it alone there are people out there that can help you.
Enjoy your week!
Take care,
Nick
Every single day for four hours, he closed his eyes and imagined in vivid detail that he was at his country golf club. He included every detail; visually (sight) – from the interior colours and design of the club house, to the different shades of green of the grass on the fairway. Auditarily (sound) – the swishing sound of each club being drawn from the bag, to the gentle rustling of the wind I the trees. Kinaesthetically (feeling) – the feel of the grip of his favourite driver to the feeling of his feet inside his golfing shoes. Olfactarily (smell) – the smell of the freshly cut grass to the scent of the leather of his golfing bag. Gustatorarily (taste) – he even imagined the taste change in his saliva with the anticipation of his sporting enjoyment.
He imagined this experience in every detail as if it were real, the drive to the clubhouse, the banter with his sporting colleagues, the walk to the first tee and the practise swings before taking each shot. Over 7 years he invested approximately 10220 hours of mental rehearsall, never leaving any detail out.
When he was released from prison, he had a real desire to return to his golf club and play “another” round of golf. In his first “real” game of golf for 7 years he scored an amazing 74!
Apart from proving that mental rehearsal is as effective (if not more) and assists physical practise, it also demonstrates what happens when we control our own minds rather than letting it control us.
The interesting thing for me is that a lot of clients I see are trapped in their own “prisons”, surrounded by concrete walls and bars of negativity, self doubt and low self esteem. There is nothing physical stopping them from making changes, just that critical parental voice telling them the downsides and pitfalls of any lofty ideas they may have to improve their lives.
Whenever we move forward and break out of that old comfort zone our internal parent seeks to protect us by warning us of what can go wrong and making it easier for us to slip back into the quilt-like warmth of our old behaviours. It’s essentially installed as a safety mechanism, but because of the government and media we live in fear and this safety switch is triggered far too soon.
It’s not a weakness to ask for help in developing yourself, even though those we have voted into power have stigmatized this kind of assistance and made people feel broken or abnormal, which is simply not true.
On my journey I didn’t have anyone like myself to help me, so I invested (and still do) massive amounts of time in learning about the mind; reading books, listening to audio CDs and watching DVDs on Psychology, Hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, anything to do with how our brains work.
I feel very lucky that I have put myself in a position to help those people who have the courage to look for help. I know exactly what it’s like, having escaped my own metaphoric “prisons” many times and I’m sure there will be many more to come as I keep pushing forward and developing myself.
One essential ingredient that is inherent in every successful person I’ve ever met is tenacity, a complete 100% resolution to one successful outcome, no back door, no plan B.
And remember, if you feel you can’t do it alone there are people out there that can help you.
Enjoy your week!
Take care,
Nick
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