Pain or Pleasure?

Do you know once you break everything down to its smallest components we have only two things that motivate us; the avoidance of pain, or the pursuit of pleasure.

These are the drivers that create change in our lives.

The lifetime smoker witnesses a sick relative dying of cancer, they are affected by witnessing the pain that the person is in which makes them feel sad (“Pain”). They also imagine this terrible ordeal could happen to them and imagine the discomfort, worry and anguish that this would create, so they decide to quit to avoid the pain.

That person that stares into the brochure at the Travel Agents and sees the warm sun, beautiful white sand and deep blue sea, books the holiday as they imagine the pleasure they will feel once there.

People are motivated to change in different ways, with a balance of pain and pleasure. Some people require a lot of pain and a little pleasure, others a lot of pleasure and very little or no pain, or any combination of amounts between these two extremes.

If you imagine a straight line with the word “Pain” on the left hand side and the word “Pleasure” on the right (illustrated below).

PAIN------------------------------------------------------------PLEASURE

Why not try to think of a few situations in your life that you are unsure of and see whereabouts you are along the line…

Any surprises?

If you are currently struggling to change something negative in your life, try this exercise.

Complete EVERY stage in turn and imagine you had done NOTHING to change it at all from steps 1 to 4.

1) Imagine what your life would be like in one years time, what could you see, hear and feel (close your eyes if this helps)?

2) Now, imagine what your life would be like in five years time, again what can you see, hear and feel (close your eyes if this helps)?

3) Imagine what your life would be like in ten years time without you doing anything to change it at all, what can you see, hear and feel? How bad has the situation gotten now?

4) Now, imagine what your life would be like in twenty years time, really imagine this vividly what can you see, hear and feel and how bad does that make you feel?

5) Take a moment to associate those bad feelings and sensations with what you want to change

6) Now, take a deep breath and clear your mind back to the here and now and notice something positive about yourself, even if it is something small or something that you are wearing.

7) Now imagine that whatever you noticed that was positive has started to spread positive feelings throughout the inside of your body, into every muscle, fibre and cell. Allow it to spread everywhere and grow with strength, take a nice deep breath.

8) Now imagine seeing yourself NOW taking the positive action you need to (close your eyes if this helps?).

9) Imagine yourself in a weeks time what do you look like, move like, sound like?

10) Imagine yourself in one months time, again what changes can you notice in your appearance, how do you move, how do you sound?

11) Now imagine stepping into this “New” you, see through their eyes, hear through their ears and feel exactly how that feels.

12) Take a nice deep breath and commit to taking action each day towards your goal.

Repeat this exercise if required as many times as you need, remember a new habit is created when you repeat something correctly 28 times.

Take care and remember, it’s not a natural skill or gift that makes people successful, its direction, determination and the ability to adapt and grow.

I’ve seen many naturally “gifted” people end up on the scrap heap and many unskilled yet determined people, succeed beyond their wildest dreams.

Is now the time to take action towards that goal you’ve always wanted?

Have a great Easter!

Nick