Insecurities

One think that I have come to notice in everyone I meet that I find the most refreshing is that we all want to be liked or loved and we all want to do better.

Some people hide this and adopt an aggressive or apathetic attitude towards life, but these drivers are still there simmering under the surface.

If we felt completely loved by everybody and had all the success in the world, then we would think we had made it!

This is why I believe many young people today look to become the next Christiano Ronaldo or Cheryl Cole, believing that once they had that kind of lifestyle all of their worries would somehow disappear.

Sadly this is not the case.

As the old saying goes “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Do you remember Christiano Ronaldo headbutting Wayne Rooney in the 2006 World Cup? At the time he was the most hated footballer in the Premiership.

And do you remember in 2003 Cheryl Tweedy (as she was then) was accused of making racist remarks and punching a toilet attendant over a row over pinching some lollipops? It was all over the papers, she was extremely unpopular at the time.

When you’re in the limelight, everything you do becomes magnified and you have to deal with so much more pressure.

The only people without challenges in life live in graveyards!

So whatever your life is, it will have its own set of challenges. The secret I’ve found is to manage and plan your future so that you reduce the bad times and increase the happy times.

Back to our insecurities; that little voice that says “You’re not good enough!” or “Nobody loves you!”.

Why on earth would we do this to ourselves?

Well it’s there to ensure that we take action to improve our friendships and relationships and do the best we can in life with the talents we have and develop.

However sometimes this voice becomes amplified because we ignore it; through laziness or procrastination. It becomes so loud and frequent that we just give up or try and distract ourselves with drink, drugs, gambling, food, pornography or whatever else.

But there is another way…

This voice is the “Critical Parent” part of your personality, its part of you so you can change it.

As soon as you recognise this negative voice, immediately change your posture and alter your rate and depth of breathing. Push your shoulders back and breathe diaphragmatically.

Then begin thinking of little things you have done in your life that are good, maybe that time you listened to a friends problems, or gave someone a compliment.

Now you can create your own affirmative dialogue, I personally look at myself in the mirror, shrug my shoulders and say “Do you know what? I’m o.k.!”

And remember, whatever you think you are…you are so much better!

Take care,

Nick

P.S. I am running a monthly NLP/Hypnosis Practise Group beginning on Saturday July 31st (3pm – 5pm) only £5 entry, the link is here to register http://ndhypnotherapy.com/practisegroup or call or email me. I will be showing you how to run your own brains with “An Introduction to Submodalities”