Do you know once you break everything down to its smallest components we have only two things that motivate us; the avoidance of pain, or the pursuit of pleasure.
These are the drivers that create change in our lives.
The lifetime smoker witnesses a sick relative dying of cancer, they are affected by witnessing the pain that the person is in which makes them feel sad (“Pain”). They also imagine this terrible ordeal could happen to them and imagine the discomfort, worry and anguish that this would create, so they decide to quit to avoid the pain.
That person that stares into the brochure at the Travel Agents and sees the warm sun, beautiful white sand and deep blue sea, books the holiday as they imagine the pleasure they will feel once there.
People are motivated to change in different ways, with a balance of pain and pleasure. Some people require a lot of pain and a little pleasure, others a lot of pleasure and very little or no pain, or any combination of amounts between these two extremes.
If you imagine a straight line with the word “Pain” on the left hand side and the word “Pleasure” on the right (illustrated below).
PAIN------------------------------------------------------------PLEASURE
Why not try to think of a few situations in your life that you are unsure of and see whereabouts you are along the line…
Any surprises?
If you are currently struggling to change something negative in your life, try this exercise.
Complete EVERY stage in turn and imagine you had done NOTHING to change it at all from steps 1 to 4.
1) Imagine what your life would be like in one years time, what could you see, hear and feel (close your eyes if this helps)?
2) Now, imagine what your life would be like in five years time, again what can you see, hear and feel (close your eyes if this helps)?
3) Imagine what your life would be like in ten years time without you doing anything to change it at all, what can you see, hear and feel? How bad has the situation gotten now?
4) Now, imagine what your life would be like in twenty years time, really imagine this vividly what can you see, hear and feel and how bad does that make you feel?
5) Take a moment to associate those bad feelings and sensations with what you want to change
6) Now, take a deep breath and clear your mind back to the here and now and notice something positive about yourself, even if it is something small or something that you are wearing.
7) Now imagine that whatever you noticed that was positive has started to spread positive feelings throughout the inside of your body, into every muscle, fibre and cell. Allow it to spread everywhere and grow with strength, take a nice deep breath.
8) Now imagine seeing yourself NOW taking the positive action you need to (close your eyes if this helps?).
9) Imagine yourself in a weeks time what do you look like, move like, sound like?
10) Imagine yourself in one months time, again what changes can you notice in your appearance, how do you move, how do you sound?
11) Now imagine stepping into this “New” you, see through their eyes, hear through their ears and feel exactly how that feels.
12) Take a nice deep breath and commit to taking action each day towards your goal.
Repeat this exercise if required as many times as you need, remember a new habit is created when you repeat something correctly 28 times.
Take care and remember, it’s not a natural skill or gift that makes people successful, its direction, determination and the ability to adapt and grow.
I’ve seen many naturally “gifted” people end up on the scrap heap and many unskilled yet determined people, succeed beyond their wildest dreams.
Is now the time to take action towards that goal you’ve always wanted?
Have a great Easter!
Nick
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Surprising State
Often when I’m out socialising or performing a show and people find out that I’m a Hypnotherapist and Life Coach, people will pull me to one side to ask me some help concerning issues of the mind. I’ll always help as much as I can, as I love people and my job and could talk about psychology all day long…some of my friends would say I actually do!
What surprises me is the amount of people suffering with different states of stress, anxiety or depression, people who on the surface look to have everything under control. It seems nowadays, the majority of people are struggling to cope in some way with the “stuff” life throws at us.
The other thing that shocked me was the amount of people who are currently on medication to help resolve their situation. I think it can help in the short term if you’ve left things too late, but often people become reliant on it and take it long term. These types of medication do not resolve issues of the mind, but suppresses them to allow you to function for a while, the issues still need resolving.
After quizzing a lot of people it seems that there are three major stumbling blocks.
The first is knowing where to turn. Do you go to the Doctors and risk being prescribed medication and/or counselling, or risk going privately and trying to wade through the masses of numbers in the yellow pages or internet.
The second is the feeling that the person you go to for help will make you feel inferior or patronise you in some way, in the way the dress, talk or treat you. This is actually more common than you’d think, I’ll explain in a bit.
And the third is the fear of the perceived stigma that is attached with seeking help, often people say to me that they feel “weak” having to seek help and worry what their friends, family and colleagues will say.
In January 2000 I collapsed was taken to Hospital and afterwards began suffering with really bad headaches, dizziness, anxiety and panic attacks.
I was convinced at the time I was suffering with a brain tumour or similar serious illness so I requested every test I could.
After weeks of tests and an anxious wait the Doctor told me he could find nothing physically wrong with me and said it must be “Stress related”, which I disagreed with. He prescribed medication (which made me worse) and counselling where I experienced all three of the “stumbling blocks” above.
The Doctors and counsellors didn’t help much, in some cases making me worse.
I now know, after much research, the illness was caused by working far too many hours under a great deal of pressure, not sleeping or resting enough, having relationship problems and moving house and not listening to my body telling me it was struggling to cope.
If I’m honest it was not a good time for me, but it provided me with a massive impetus to find out why I had arrived at this “State” and how I could change it. I don’t recommend you take this journey as it was very long and arduous.
I spent the next 10 years of my life, reading every book I could get my hands on, studying audio CDs, videos, DVDs and attending training courses. To not only find the solutions to my issues but to find the best way to present them to people so clients feel empowered and get the results they want quickly and permanently.
I have developed a style of helping people that is both reassuring and friendly, where people can make changes with a minimum amount of discomfort (even enjoy the changes in most sessions) and feel they are working with someone they can talk to and trust.
My mission now is to reach out and help as many people as I can, this is why I have recently been running free seminars and offer free consultations to potential clients.
Recommendation is the best way of finding the right person to work with, if you need a good plumber, you’d ask around your social circle for anyone who knew of anyone who was reasonably priced and did a good job.
So if you know anyone who is suffering with stress, anxiety or depression or any other psychological issues I’d appreciate it if you’d pass on my details.
There is a video that accompanies this newsletter on the email which advertises our next FREE seminar, here is the link again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_IzKCXUOlU. You can also go to www.WSOH.co.uk/freestuff for details and to register.
Also if you’d like me to come and do a free talk for your organisation or workplace (minimum of 6 people), please contact me to discuss this.
I am really passionate about getting this message out to as many of those people who are stuck in those “States” and don’t know where to go for help. So if you think anyone would benefit from this, please pass it on.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and watch the video, have a fantastic day!
Nick
What surprises me is the amount of people suffering with different states of stress, anxiety or depression, people who on the surface look to have everything under control. It seems nowadays, the majority of people are struggling to cope in some way with the “stuff” life throws at us.
The other thing that shocked me was the amount of people who are currently on medication to help resolve their situation. I think it can help in the short term if you’ve left things too late, but often people become reliant on it and take it long term. These types of medication do not resolve issues of the mind, but suppresses them to allow you to function for a while, the issues still need resolving.
After quizzing a lot of people it seems that there are three major stumbling blocks.
The first is knowing where to turn. Do you go to the Doctors and risk being prescribed medication and/or counselling, or risk going privately and trying to wade through the masses of numbers in the yellow pages or internet.
The second is the feeling that the person you go to for help will make you feel inferior or patronise you in some way, in the way the dress, talk or treat you. This is actually more common than you’d think, I’ll explain in a bit.
And the third is the fear of the perceived stigma that is attached with seeking help, often people say to me that they feel “weak” having to seek help and worry what their friends, family and colleagues will say.
In January 2000 I collapsed was taken to Hospital and afterwards began suffering with really bad headaches, dizziness, anxiety and panic attacks.
I was convinced at the time I was suffering with a brain tumour or similar serious illness so I requested every test I could.
After weeks of tests and an anxious wait the Doctor told me he could find nothing physically wrong with me and said it must be “Stress related”, which I disagreed with. He prescribed medication (which made me worse) and counselling where I experienced all three of the “stumbling blocks” above.
The Doctors and counsellors didn’t help much, in some cases making me worse.
I now know, after much research, the illness was caused by working far too many hours under a great deal of pressure, not sleeping or resting enough, having relationship problems and moving house and not listening to my body telling me it was struggling to cope.
If I’m honest it was not a good time for me, but it provided me with a massive impetus to find out why I had arrived at this “State” and how I could change it. I don’t recommend you take this journey as it was very long and arduous.
I spent the next 10 years of my life, reading every book I could get my hands on, studying audio CDs, videos, DVDs and attending training courses. To not only find the solutions to my issues but to find the best way to present them to people so clients feel empowered and get the results they want quickly and permanently.
I have developed a style of helping people that is both reassuring and friendly, where people can make changes with a minimum amount of discomfort (even enjoy the changes in most sessions) and feel they are working with someone they can talk to and trust.
My mission now is to reach out and help as many people as I can, this is why I have recently been running free seminars and offer free consultations to potential clients.
Recommendation is the best way of finding the right person to work with, if you need a good plumber, you’d ask around your social circle for anyone who knew of anyone who was reasonably priced and did a good job.
So if you know anyone who is suffering with stress, anxiety or depression or any other psychological issues I’d appreciate it if you’d pass on my details.
There is a video that accompanies this newsletter on the email which advertises our next FREE seminar, here is the link again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_IzKCXUOlU. You can also go to www.WSOH.co.uk/freestuff for details and to register.
Also if you’d like me to come and do a free talk for your organisation or workplace (minimum of 6 people), please contact me to discuss this.
I am really passionate about getting this message out to as many of those people who are stuck in those “States” and don’t know where to go for help. So if you think anyone would benefit from this, please pass it on.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and watch the video, have a fantastic day!
Nick
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