Are You Saving Too Many Stamps? & NLP/Hypnosis Practise Group

Have you ever experienced a situation where you made a comment, gesture or behaved in a way that created a massive over-reaction to your stimulus, or maybe you have been the one who exhibited this disproportionate reaction?

Well, if you have I’m about to make things a little clearer for you.

As you may or may not know I am a big fan of Transactional Analysis the creation and work of Eric Berne M.D. and he had a theory that we collect stamps, metaphorically speaking in our minds.

It goes something like this.

For those of you of a certain age will remember the old “Green Shield” stamps (those younger readers may be aware of certain drinks promotions where you get a card stamped each time you buy that particular beverage), you would collect these and cash them in when you had a page or book filled for household items.

Okay the theory works like this.

People have an imaginary stamp book containing a number of spaces (let’s say 8 for arguments sake) where they collect “stamps”, which are negative experiences. Each time something goes wrong in this person’s life or someone is mean to them, they put a stamp in the book. When they have collected all 8 stamps they then feel entitled to an emotional outburst, normally at the person who is responsible for the last “stamp”.

This may help you understand some people’s seemingly irrational behaviour? Maybe they don’t have the capacity to hold a lot of stamps, maybe past hurts mean that there are stamps that are always there filling the book half way and maybe they don’t know how to “process” the stamps to free up space in the book?

If you are one of these people that experience these overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, frustration or despair, consider this theory.

Okay so how do I “process” stamps?

In order to process stamps you must first recognise that you have collected too many. You can do this by checking your posture, are your shoulders hunched, tight and aching? Are you muscles sore? Is your brow furrowed? Are you breathing short sharp breaths? Do you have stomach pains, problems going to the toilet? Are you thinking of negative future outcomes? These are all symptoms of stress.

In order to relieve these symptoms I recommend Self Hypnosis or a progressive muscular relaxation with visualisation (which is incidentally what we’ll be practising at our NLP/Hypnosis Practise Group tomorrow).
Firstly what you need to do is find a comfortable place where you can relax easily and won’t be disturbed, play some soothing music in the background if this helps.

Take 5 to 10 diaphragmatic breaths and let go of any stress or tension on each out breath.

Then begin by imagining the relaxation of every muscle, nerve and fibre of your being from the top of your head, slowly all the way down to your toes. You may repeat this if you feel you need to.

Now vividly imagine a place where you have been or where you would like to be, that fills you will a relaxed, comfortable feeling.

Imagine the different colours and the shapes of your surroundings, imagine you are actually there.

Now imagine any sounds you can hear that surround you.

Become aware now of all the physical sensations, maybe the sun gently warming your skin or the gentle breeze cooling it to that perfect temperature.

Finally add in any smells or tastes from you imagined location.

Really enjoy this experience and when you are ready bring yourself back to full awareness. If you have a habit of dropping off to sleep, you could always set a timer or alarm or ask a family member or friend to awaken you.

Just to continue the theme of stamps, we also have “Golden Stamps” which we can cash in to treat ourselves. A golden stamp is one where you do something that needs doing perhaps to help your future goals, this could be household chores, study, exercise, saying sorry to someone, helping someone who is struggling with something.

When the golden stamp book is full people normally treat themselves by doing something they enjoy.

Maybe it’s time you “processed” more of those old stamps and collected more of the “Golden” stamps?


NLP/Hypnosis Practise Group

At tomorrows meeting I will be demonstrating and teaching you how to “Hypnotise” people. How it works, why it works and how you can use it to help yourself – “Self Hypnosis”. Once again it will be held at the Jaguar Cars Sports & Social Club, (XJS Suite), Browns Lane, Allesley, Coventry CV5 9DR from 3pm to 5pm (Saturday) 28th August 2010 only £5 entry! All welcome from novice all the way up to seasoned professional, register to attend by emailing me or on the website at www.WSOH.co.uk/practisegroup it will be great to see you there!

Be kinder to yourself! :0)

Nick